Did you know that approximately 9% of the population in England and Wales are unpaid carers? According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), women—particularly those over 50—make up the majority of unpaid carers. Many juggle responsibilities for elderly parents, partners, or disabled children alongside other commitments. While caregiving affects all genders, societal expectations often place a heavier burden on women, who are also more likely to seek support and resources.
Taking on this role is an incredible act of love and dedication, but it’s also one of the most challenging responsibilities a person can face. Unpaid carers often endure physical exhaustion, emotional strain, and the pressures of caregiving, with little guidance or support. Many only learn terms like “carer burnout” after experiencing it firsthand—feeling drained, isolated, and overwhelmed by constant demands.
What makes this journey even harder is the lack of easily accessible resources. While support does exist, uncovering it often requires persistence and active research, adding another layer of stress to an already demanding role.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way. From my own experience as a part-time carer, I’ve learned that while caregiving may never be “easy,” it can become more manageable with the right tools, networks, and self-care strategies. In this blog, I’ll share personal insights, practical tips, and guidance to help you navigate caregiving while protecting your own well-being.
Remember, you’re not alone. Support is out there—you just need a helping hand to find it. Let’s explore how you can care for your loved one without sacrificing your own health and happiness.
Caring for a loved one is both a noble and demanding responsibility, often leading to significant physical and emotional strain. It is common for carers to experience feelings of isolation, stress, and anxiety, which can adversely affect their mental health. Recognising and addressing these challenges is essential for both the carer’s well-being and their ability to provide effective care.
Personal Experiences Highlighting the Impact of Isolation
Full-Time Carer’s Journey
In our caregiving journey, my loved one’s partner took on the role of a full-time unpaid carer without external assistance. Their dedication was unwavering; they seldom left the house, even for brief errands, due to a strong sense of responsibility and the difficulty of entrusting others with care duties. Over time, this constant vigilance led to escalating stress and emotional fatigue. The turning point came when they began attending a local community centre. Engaging with others outside our immediate circle provided much-needed mental stimulation and relief. Coupled with the introduction of a companion carer, this helped rebuild trust in others, alleviating the overwhelming need to constantly be present. This change significantly improved their mental well-being.
Part-Time Carer’s Experience
As a part-time unpaid carer juggling family responsibilities and a job, I found myself trapped in a relentless cycle of duties, neglecting personal time and social connections. Despite my husband’s encouragement to reconnect with friends, exhaustion often kept me isolated. After several months, I recognised the toll this isolation was taking on my mental health. Reengaging with friends and family—talking about anything other than caregiving—brought a sense of calm and renewed emotional balance. It reminded me that stepping away, even briefly, wasn’t just okay but necessary for my well-being.
The Importance of Self-Care
I know this is easy for me to say, but I speak from experience. I’ve been through this, made mistakes, and learned from them. When I took on the role of a unpaid carer, I unknowingly allowed myself to become isolated. This is especially common for full-time unpaid carers—you pour so much of yourself into caregiving that you become drained. After a long day, all you want to do are the simplest things: watch TV, sleep, or just zone out.
But this routine leads to isolation, which can take a significant toll on your mental health. You might feel like there’s no time for anything beyond caregiving, but prioritising self-care is essential—not just for you, but for the loved one you’re caring for. A healthier, happier carer can provide better care.
It’s also crucial to recognise the importance of respite care. Respite care provides temporary relief for carers, allowing you to take a break from your responsibilities. This time can be used to rest, attend to personal matters, or simply recharge. Utilising respite care services can help prevent burnout and ensure you’re able to provide quality care for your loved one while maintaining your own health and well-being.
Taking care of yourself isn’t just about mental well-being—it includes your physical health, emotional health, and appearance. Here are some practical self-care steps to help you manage caregiving while maintaining balance in your life:
Self-Care Basics
Taking care of yourself isn’t just about mental well-being—it includes your physical health, emotional health, and appearance. Here are some practical self-care steps to help you manage caregiving while maintaining balance in your life:
1. Medical Appointments
Register yourself as a carer with your GP. Carers are entitled to free flu vaccinations and regular health check-ups.
Recognising the emotional strain of caregiving, GPs can offer resources or referrals to counselling services to help manage stress and prevent burnout.
2. Grooming and Pampering
Sometimes, even small acts like getting your hair done, visiting a beautician, or painting your nails can uplift your mood.
Feeling good on the outside can improve your mental state and remind you to prioritise yourself.
3. Physical Activity
Regular exercise, such as walking, yoga, or swimming, can significantly reduce stress and improve overall health.
Even short, daily activities—like a simple walk in the fresh air—can boost your energy levels and enhance your mood. Remember, it doesn’t have to be intensive; a little movement goes a long way.
4. Balanced Nutrition
Maintaining a healthy diet is essential for sustaining energy and resilience.
Prioritise meals rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains to support both physical and mental health.
5. Adequate Rest
Quality sleep is vital for emotional balance and effective caregiving.
Establish a consistent sleep routine and create a restful environment.
If nights are challenging, rest when your loved one rests—short naps can make a difference.
6. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation can help manage stress and promote mental clarity.
It’s easy to feel frustrated and angry in challenging moments, but finding ways to stay calm is essential for both you and your loved one.
7. Stay Organised
Create a “to-do” list: Writing things down helps keep you organised, reduces stress, and ensures you don’t forget important tasks.
Establish a daily routine: This ensures a structured day for your loved one and allows you to carve out time for breaks.
If possible, consider taking a break away—a holiday or even just one night at a local hotel. Off-peak rates can make this more affordable. I understand this isn’t possible for everyone, but if it is, please consider this option seriously.
Personalisation is Key
Everyone’s caregiving journey is unique. While it’s helpful to take advice from others, remember to do what works best for you and your loved one(s). Adapt suggestions to fit your circumstances, and don’t hesitate to adjust your approach as needed.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Taking time to care for yourself will allow you to approach caregiving with renewed strength and positivity, ultimately benefiting both you and your loved one.
Building a Support System
Do not let caregiving lead to isolation, as it can take a significant toll on your mental and emotional health. Thankfully, modern technology has made connecting with others much easier. Since the COVID-19 outbreak, video communication tools like Zoom and Teams have transformed the way we interact, offering more opportunities for connection even when leaving the house feels impossible.
What Can Help?
1. Speak to Someone
Connecting with another human being—whether online or in person—can make a world of difference. Here’s how:
Online or Telephone Support: Many charities offer telephone or video call services where you can speak to someone who understands your situation. These conversations don’t have to focus on caregiving; sometimes, talking about anything else can be a refreshing escape.
Local Carer Meetups: Check for carer meetups in your area, both physical and virtual. These provide an opportunity to share experiences and feel less alone.
Online Forums or Groups: These platforms allow carers (paid or unpaid) to ask questions, share their experiences, and offer advice. Knowing that others are navigating similar challenges can be comforting and inspiring.
Understanding from Shared Experience: You may have great friends or family members who offer fantastic encouragement and love. However, sometimes you just want to talk to someone who is going through, or has gone through, the same challenges as you.
Counselling Services: Speaking with a counsellor—either through self-referral or via your GP—can offer a safe space to release your emotions and gain practical coping strategies. Even if you’re sceptical or think it won’t help, remember the saying, “You don’t know until you try.” Talking therapy is not only a great way to let off steam but also a source of fresh perspectives and tips to manage the daily pressures of caregiving.
2. Reconnect with Family and Friends
Caregiving often pulls you away from personal relationships. You become so preoccupied with responsibilities that social connections fade. However, inviting family or friends over—even just for a cup of tea—can help rebuild those connections. Don’t worry about the state of your home; true friends won’t judge you.
If possible, meet outside the house. Removing yourself from the caregiving environment, even for an hour, can provide a mental reset and emotional boost. Engaging with someone outside your caregiving role can bring positivity back into your life.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
It’s okay to ask friends or family to step in if you need to run an errand, take a break, or handle personal matters. You might be surprised at how many people are willing to help. And if someone says no, don’t take it personally; you’ll never know unless you ask.
Utilise Local Resources
Research charities or organisations in your area that offer support for carers. Some charities provide volunteer services, such as:
Respite Care Visits: Volunteers may sit with your loved one so you can have some downtime, even if it’s just in another room with a cup of tea.
Telephone Check-ins: Regular calls to chat or simply listen, offering a sense of connection and support.
The frequency of these services—whether weekly, monthly, or occasionally—will depend on what’s available in your local area. Even small pockets of support can make a big difference.
Balance as a Part-Time Carer
If you’re a part-time carer like me, it’s easy to let caregiving, work, and family duties consume your life. However, this often leads to loneliness and regret—especially if you miss out on quality time with your own family. Children grow up quickly, and time flies. Prioritise moments with your family so you don’t look back wishing you’d done things differently.
Hiring Additional Help
If you have the means, hiring a professional carer can provide much-needed support. This can be particularly helpful if your loved one’s needs are complex or if caregiving feels overwhelming. Check out my guide on the different types of carers to find the right fit for your situation.
You can also consider help-at-home services to ease your workload. For instance, hiring a cleaner can free up time and energy for other responsibilities. We have a blog to help guide you through choosing the right cleaner for your home: Choosing the Best Cleaner: Company or Self-Employed?
Depending on your loved one’s condition and your financial circumstances, you may also be entitled to support from the local council or NHS. Don’t hesitate to explore these options—they exist to help you.
Finding Time for Yourself
The reason I’ve written this blog is because I didn’t take time for myself, and it led to burnout. I was mentally and emotionally affected, and it took a toll on my overall well-being. When I finally made the decision to carve out time for myself, it had an incredibly positive impact on my mental health. Earlier, we discussed self-care basics—those are essential for maintaining balance. Now, I want to focus on finding joy and doing something fun, completely separate from your caregiving duties. This is about freeing your mind from caregiving and immersing yourself in activities that bring you happiness.
I understand that every carer’s circumstances are different—your age, physical ability, finances, and interests all play a role. The key is to find something that suits your personality or to pick up an old hobby you left behind.
At Home: A New Room, A New World
If leaving the house isn’t possible, there are plenty of activities you can enjoy from the comfort of your home. The important thing is to choose something that allows you to switch off from caregiving and focus on yourself.
Reading: Immerse yourself in a novel or explore new genres to escape daily routines.
Puzzles and Games: Engage in activities like Sudoku, crosswords, or jigsaw puzzles to stimulate your mind. These can be physical or online.
Artistic Outlets: Painting, colouring, or drawing can be relaxing and fulfilling, even if you’re just experimenting. These activities can be done physically or on a tablet.
Crafts: Sewing, knitting, or crochet can be therapeutic and a great creative outlet.
Writing: Pen your thoughts in a journal, write stories or poetry, or even consider starting a blog to share your experiences.
Cooking or Baking: Experiment with new recipes or bake treats to enjoy and share.
Online Courses: Learn a new skill or hobby through virtual classes in areas such as photography, language learning, or music.
Virtual Socialising: Connect with friends or support groups via video calls to maintain social interactions.
Outside the Home: A Change of Scenery
When you’re able to step away, getting out of the house can be incredibly refreshing. Even a short outing can make a big difference to your mental and emotional health.
Walking or Jogging: Take a stroll in a local park to enjoy fresh air and light exercise.
Visiting a Café: Enjoy a change of scenery by having a coffee or tea at a nearby café.
Attending Workshops: Participate in community centre workshops or classes that interest you.
Volunteering: Engage in volunteer work that aligns with your interests to give back to the community.
Joining Clubs: Become a member of local clubs or groups that focus on activities you enjoy, such as book clubs or gardening groups.
Sports: Take part in activities you enjoy, such as golf, tennis, or swimming. Physical activity can reduce stress and boost energy.
Cinema: Escape into a good movie at your local theatre.
Exploring Nature: Visit botanical gardens or nature reserves to relax and connect with nature.
Gardening: Gardening is therapeutic and a great form of physical activity, offering mental and physical benefits.
Key Reminder
The key is to choose activities that you find enjoyable and fulfilling, allowing you to recharge and maintain a healthy balance in your life.
Support Available for Unpaid carers
Household Support Fund Local councils offer financial assistance to vulnerable households, including carers, to help with essentials such as food and energy bills.Learn more about cost-of-living help from your local council. Eligibility and support vary by council, so it’s advisable to contact your local authority for specific details.
Carer’s Grant You may be eligiable for a carers grant. This funding is designed to help carers take time for themselves! It could go toward a gym membership, a massage, or even getting your hair done. For more guidance on how to apply, read this article: NHS Social Care and Support Guide.
Energy Grants and Discounts Programmes like the Warm Home Discount provide eligible households with a one-off discount on electricity bills. Some energy suppliers also offer grants to help with energy costs. Additionally, carers may benefit from discounts or identification cards through resources such as the Carer’s Card UK.
Charity Support Organisations like Carers UK provide invaluable resources, advice, and support for unpaid carers. They also offer guidance on financial assistance and benefits, ensuring carers have access to the help they need.
Carer’s Leave Act 2023 Effective from 6 April 2024, the Carer’s Leave Act 2023 grants employees the statutory right to take up to one week of unpaid leave per year to provide or arrange care for a dependent. This important legislation aims to support working carers in balancing employment with caregiving responsibilities.
Those Unable to Afford Private Care or Ineligible for Council Support
1. Respite Care Services
Respite care provides temporary relief, allowing carers to take breaks. Options include:
Day Care Centres: These provide daytime supervision and activities for the person being cared for.
Volunteer Sitting Services: Organisations may offer volunteers to stay with your loved one, giving you time to rest or attend to personal matters.
2. Charitable Organisations
Several charities offer support to carers:
Carers UK: Provides information, advice, and access to local support groups.
Carers Trust: Offers practical help and emotional support through a network of local partners.
3. Community Support
Engaging with local community groups can provide assistance:
Faith-Based Organisations: Many religious groups offer support services to their community members.
Local Support Groups: Connecting with others in similar situations can provide emotional support and practical advice.
4. Technology Solutions
Utilising technology can help manage caregiving responsibilities:
Telecare Services: Devices that monitor safety and well-being, providing peace of mind.
Online Support Communities: Platforms where carers can share experiences, advice, and encouragement.
5. Flexible Work Arrangements
If employed, discuss flexible working options with your employer to balance work and caregiving duties. Employers may offer options such as reduced hours, job sharing, or remote work to accommodate carers’ needs.
6. Financial Support
Carer’s Allowance A benefit designed to provide financial support for those dedicating at least 35 hours a week to caring for someone. Eligibility depends on your income and whether the person you care for receives qualifying benefits. 👉 Find out more about Carer’s Allowance here.
Carer’s Credit If caregiving prevents you from working full-time, Carer’s Credit ensures that gaps in your National Insurance contributions don’t affect your future State Pension. This is an invaluable benefit for unpaid carers juggling responsibilities. 👉 Learn more about Carer’s Credit here.
Universal Credit – Carer’s Element If you qualify for Universal Credit, you might also be eligible for the Carer’s Element, which offers extra financial support for unpaid carers. To qualify, you need to provide care for at least 35 hours a week for someone receiving a qualifying disability benefit and meet the income requirements. 👉 Check your eligibility for the Carer’s Element here.
Practical Tips for Carers
1. Manage Responsibilities Effectively
Organise Tasks: Create a daily schedule to manage caregiving duties, personal time, and other responsibilities.
Delegate When Possible: Involve family members or friends in caregiving tasks to share the load.
Utilise Technology: Use apps and tools to set reminders for medication, appointments, and other essential tasks.
Prioritise Self-Care: Ensure you allocate time for rest, hobbies, and activities that rejuvenate you.
2. Enhance Communication Skills
Active Listening: Pay close attention to your loved one’s needs and concerns to provide better support.
Express Your Needs: Communicate openly with family members and healthcare professionals about your caregiving challenges.
3. Plan for Emergencies
Emergency Contacts: Keep a list of important contacts, including doctors, family members, and neighbours.
Backup Care: Arrange for alternative care options in case you’re unable to provide care temporarily.
4. Stay Informed
Educational Workshops: Attend workshops or webinars to learn more about your loved one’s condition and effective caregiving strategies.
Stay Updated: Keep abreast of new treatments, therapies, or support services that may benefit your loved one.
Conclusion: Encouragement and Positivity
Being an unpaid carer is one of the most demanding roles you’ll ever take on. It’s not glamorous, and it’s not easy. You’ll face exhaustion, frustration, and moments of doubt—but that doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. Recognising the difficulty of this journey is not defeat; it’s the first step in finding your strength.
Let’s be clear: taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Even if self-care feels impossible right now, small, consistent steps can make a difference. A walk in the fresh air, 10 minutes of mindfulness, or asking a friend for help—these acts build resilience. You may not feel the impact immediately, but over time, you’ll realise that caring for yourself enables you to better care for your loved one. This journey will challenge you deeply. Watching someone you love struggle is heart-breaking, but even in the hardest moments, there’s space to create joy and build memories. Think about how you want to look back on this time. Yes, caregiving will dominate much of your life, but it doesn’t have to define it entirely. Find ways to reconnect with yourself. Pick up a forgotten hobby, laugh together, or capture small, meaningful moments. These memories will sustain you.
At times, it may feel like no one truly understands the weight you carry. That’s why seeking support is vital. Friends, charities, carers’ communities—help is out there, but taking the first step is up to you. It’s hard, yes—but hard doesn’t mean impossible. This role will never be easy, but it can be meaningful. You are not just a carer—you’re a lifeline, a comfort, and a source of strength for someone who depends on you. Recognise your worth, not through external praise, but through the fact that you show up, day after day, even when it feels overwhelming.
So let this be your reminder: take care of yourself. Not because it’s a luxury, but because it’s a necessity. Reclaiming your well-being isn’t just for you—it’s for your loved one too. Empower yourself to live, not just survive, because both of you deserve that. Even in the hardest moments, you are making a profound difference. Your strength may not always feel visible, but it’s there—and it’s powerful.
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