Happy New Year! As we step into 2025, I hope this year brings you joy and happiness—even during the hardest of times. I hope you find moments to laugh and cherish life.
For me, 2024 was a challenging year. Losing my mum in April has left a void that my family and I are still learning to navigate. Each “first” moment without her has been a reminder of the immense role she played in our lives. One of my fondest memories of her is how she would insist on preparing meals from scratch, emphasising the importance of fresh, wholesome food. Her dedication inspired my passion for freshly cooked meals, and thanks to her, my kids developed a love for a wide variety of dishes. This legacy of mindful eating and cooking has influenced many of the changes I hope to make in 2025. I hope to inspire you with the steps I’m taking this year to embrace change and growth.
Over Christmas, we travelled to Kenya as a family, and it gave me the opportunity to reflect on how life differs there compared to the UK. Observing my Kenyan relatives has strengthened my belief that we need to rethink and adapt our approach to certain aspects of life. While there are undeniable differences between our countries, some practices could profoundly impact how we manage our time and well-being.
Lessons from Kenya: Prioritising Time and Well-Being
In Kenya, home help is a common practice. Tasks like cleaning, meal preparation (e.g., cutting vegetables or preparing meat), and other household chores are often delegated, leaving more time to focus on other priorities. Imagine how much time you’d save if all you needed to do was cook the food. These small changes, which may seem trivial, can have a significant impact on our fast-paced lives, where time is often our most precious commodity. This model prioritises health and well-being over the convenience of shortcuts.
The Hidden Costs of Convenience in the UK
In the UK, convenience foods like frozen vegetables, ready meals, and pre-made sauces are normalised and have made life easier. However, these shortcuts come with a cost. Many pre-made sauces, for example, are loaded with additives, preservatives, salt, and sugar to enhance flavour and extend shelf life. While these may seem harmless, their cumulative effect can contribute to health issues such as hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease over time—particularly as we age or for those with pre-existing conditions. While our bodies may manage these substances better in our youth, relying on them long-term can take a toll on our health. Transitioning to fresh, homemade alternatives—such as a simple tomato sauce made from fresh tomatoes—can reduce these risks and promote overall well-being.
Healthy Eating as an Investment
Healthy eating does take more planning and effort, but it’s undeniably an investment in our health and lifestyle. Preparing meals from fresh ingredients gives complete control over what goes into your food, eliminating unnecessary additives and excessive sugar or salt. Moreover, cooking with fresh ingredients fosters a deeper connection to what you eat, turning meal preparation into a mindful and rewarding experience.
Takeaways for a Balanced Approach
Small Adjustments: Start with simple swaps, such as using fresh tomatoes for sauces or prepping meals in advance to save time on busy days.
Mindful Choices: Read the ingredients and nutrition values carefully to truly understand what is inside what you plan to buy. Never take what’s written on the front of the packaging—it can be very misleading! Choose items with fewer additives, less salt, and minimal sugar.
Healthy Priorities: View meal preparation as self-care rather than a chore, making it a meaningful part of your daily routine.
After a month away, returning to work in the domiciliary industry reignited my drive for change. With the number of people needing home care increasing year after year, it’s evident that this sector will face even greater demands in the future. Seeing firsthand how some patients live—often in ways I would never want for myself or my loved ones—has only deepened my commitment to this field.
Many of my patients live alone and rely on part-time caregivers for support. Despite this assistance, they often struggle with basic tasks like cleaning their homes or preparing meals. Their living conditions can be heartbreaking—sticky floors, layers of dust, and food remnants not only on the floor but also on their clothing and furniture. Meals, more often than not, are reduced to quick fixes like reheating ready-made dishes in the microwave or oven. Meanwhile, many depend on an array of medications to manage their health, highlighting the stark contrast between medical intervention and the lack of attention to their overall living environment and dietary needs.
Some patients are painfully aware of their circumstances and feel ashamed, wistfully remembering a time when their homes were immaculate and their independence was intact. For others, poor eyesight or a shift in mindset means they are less affected by their surroundings.
Carers and Family Members: Shared Challenges
Carers, understandably, aren’t typically expected to clean. Their primary responsibilities include assisting with personal care, administering medications, and supporting daily living activities. On the other hand, family members—often juggling work, children, and their own homes—struggle to provide additional support. It’s hard for them to give more when they are already stretched thin, trying to maintain their own mental well-being.
The Need for Fresh Food and Movement
Many patients miss the taste of fresh vegetables, fruits, and home-cooked meals. However, due to their circumstances, they have limited control over their diets. A lack of mobility, combined with poor dietary habits, often leads to health issues such as constipation, which then necessitates the regular use of laxatives.
Some patients retain the ability for small movements, such as short walks, but they are unable to do so without assistance or the presence of someone else. Others, sadly, feel too old to complain and have resigned themselves to their current conditions, accepting a lifestyle they might have once found unimaginable.
The Loss of Dignity
The word dignity often comes to mind when reflecting on these situations. It’s heartbreaking to see how some patients feel a profound loss of dignity due to their inability to perform basic tasks and their reliance on others. Dignity isn’t just about physical independence; it’s about having choices, living in a clean and comfortable space, and feeling valued and respected. The absence of these elements can take a significant toll on emotional and mental well-being.
Care Options
There are many different types of care options available, including personal care, specialised care, and companionship. These services can be private, semi-private, or council-funded, and your choice will depend on the level of care needed and your budget.
A Few Tips for Choosing the Right Care:
Check Experience and Training: Depending on your loved one’s specific condition, the carer may require training in handling the illness or using specialised equipment. For example, a patient with mobility challenges may need a carer familiar with hoists or mobility aids.
Language Skills Matter: A portion of the adult social care sector is recruited from overseas, meaning English may not be their first language. While these carers bring valuable skills, it’s essential to ensure they can communicate effectively to avoid misunderstandings. For instance, I recall a situation where a patient asked their carer for Marmite on toast. The carer didn’t understand and made a hummus sandwich instead! These small errors can have a big impact on daily satisfaction.
Patience with New Carers: When a carer visits for the first time, it is important to approach with patience as they will need to get to know you, your likes, dislikes, and preferences. Similarly, you can take this time to understand their approach to situations. Expect an initial learning curve. The same applies to carers who are new to the sector or even new to the country, where they are learning the ropes and adapting to cultural and professional expectations.
For more detailed guidance on finding the right carer and understanding available care services, read the following articles:
There are various options for home assistance, tailored to fit different needs and budgets. Here’s how you can plan for the right support:
1. Identify Your Needs: Start by determining what kind of help you require. Common services include:
Cleaning
Meal preparation
Home organisation Consider how often you’ll need this assistance—daily, weekly, or less frequently.
2. Understand the Costs:Costs for home assistance can range from £10 to £30 per hour, depending on factors like the type of help you need and whether you hire an independent professional or go through a company.
For detailed insights into hiring cleaners, including costs and comparisons, check out the following resources:
Unpaid carers are the backbone of caregiving, offering invaluable support to their loved ones while saving the government millions of pounds in care costs! However, it’s important to recognise that carers need support too—both physically and emotionally. While you may begin this journey with the best intentions, believing only you can provide the care your loved one deserves, over time, the weight of caregiving can take its toll. Stress, exhaustion, anger, and emotional burnout often become constant challenges.
That’s why seeking home help—whether for cleaning, meal preparation, or companionship—isn’t just about benefiting your loved one; it’s about helping yourself.
My Personal Experience
In my own family, we had to navigate the difficult conversation of introducing external help for a loved one. They resisted the idea for a long time, convinced that everything was fine because we were doing such a great job. But the reality was that we were stretched thin. We explained that bringing in extra help wasn’t just for their benefit—it was for ours too.
Eventually, they reluctantly agreed, and the difference was life-changing for the entire family. It allowed us to focus on spending quality time with them while also feeling a sense of freedom, even if only for a short time. Instead of being consumed by endless tasks, we could enjoy moments together that truly mattered.
Exploring Permanent or Respite Care
Depending on your loved one’s condition and needs, it’s important to explore all options, including permanent or respite care in a care home. Caregiving affects everyone involved—your loved one, you, and your family—so the goal is to find a balance that benefits everyone.
Before committing to a care home, do your research thoroughly:
Match Your Needs: Ensure the home aligns with your loved one’s care requirements and your family’s expectations. Is it within driving range? Check visiting hour details to ensure they suit your family’s schedule.
Financial Viability: Assess whether this option is affordable. Some families may qualify for local council assistance.
Visit and Ask Questions: Spend time visiting potential homes and asking about their services, staff training, and amenities.
Caregiving can also place a significant financial burden on families. If you are financially secure, that’s excellent, but many carers will require some assistance. It’s essential to explore the financial support options available:
NHS Support
NHS Continuing Healthcare (CHC): For individuals with serious disabilities or illnesses, CHC covers full healthcare costs, including personal care at home or in a care home. Eligibility requires an assessment and is not means-tested.
NHS-Funded Nursing Care (FNC): For residents of nursing homes with medical needs, a weekly rate (currently £235.88) is paid directly to the home to cover nursing support.
Home Care Financial Support
Attendance Allowance: Available for people over State Pension age who need extra help to remain independent at home.
Personal Independence Payment (PIP): For individuals under State Pension age, this benefit covers extra costs associated with long-term health conditions.
Carer’s Allowance: Available for unpaid carers who provide substantial care to someone with significant needs.
There are numerous national charities dedicated to supporting unpaid carers. These organisations provide invaluable resources and guidance, making them a great starting point for anyone seeking assistance:
Age UK: Offers advice and services for older people and their carers, including financial support and respite care.
Carers Trust: Provides funding, advocacy, and practical resources for carers through local partnerships.
Carers UK: Offers advice, advocacy, and support for carers, helping them navigate financial and emotional challenges.
Carers First: A charity providing practical information and resources to unpaid carers, empowering them to balance caregiving with their own
Additionally, many local charities offer services such as telephone support, counseling, and assistance with navigating benefits and resources. Check with your local council for organisations operating in your area.
Carer Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
Even dedicating just an hour a week to yourself can make a world of difference. Whether it’s hitting the gym, getting your nails done, or enjoying a peaceful walk, these moments are vital for recharging your energy and improving your well-being.
Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward ensuring both you and your loved one can thrive. Sharing the load creates a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved.
Did you know you may be eligible for a carer’s grant? This funding is designed to help carers take time for themselves! It could go toward a gym membership, a massage, or even getting your hair done. For more guidance on how to apply, read this article: NHS Social Care and Support Guide.
In previous generations, unpaid caregiving was often a more manageable part of family life. Typically, one parent stayed home while the other worked, ensuring someone was available to prepare fresh meals, care for children, and support elderly relatives. However, the dynamics of modern families have shifted dramatically.
Today, most households rely on dual incomes, leaving little time for caregiving alongside managing the household. The rising retirement age has added further pressure, and we now have a “sandwich generation” where many, like myself, are simultaneously caring for their children and elderly relatives. Factors such as people having children later in life and increased life expectancies have resulted in overlapping caregiving duties. This dual responsibility often leads to increased stress, financial strain, and time constraints on caregivers.
On top of these challenges, distance has become a significant factor—families are often spread across counties or even countries for work or to pursue different lifestyles, making it harder to manage caregiving within the family. The higher cost of living further exacerbates the difficulty of balancing part-time or unpaid caregiving duties with other responsibilities.
Laws Have Changed, and Technology Has Improved
While caregiving remains demanding, changes in laws and advancements in technology have made certain aspects more manageable:
-Flexible Working Laws: As of April 2024, all employees in England, Scotland, and Wales have the right to request flexible working from the first day of employment, allowing for adjustments in working hours, times, or locations to better accommodate caregiving responsibilities.
-Accessible Private Care and Home Help: What was once considered a luxury for the wealthy has become more accessible and widely recognised as essential.
-Recognition by the Healthcare System: If you’re an unpaid carer, let your GP know—they will prioritise your well-being and offer additional support.
-Support Systems and Charities: There is a growing recognition of the vital role unpaid carers play, leading to more support systems through government initiatives and charities.
-Technology: Video calling via smartphones or tablets and widespread internet access have made it easier than ever to stay connected with family, even across great distances.
Adapting to a New Reality
Teaching my children the values of family and caregiving is important to me, but I also emphasise the necessity of self-care. I don’t want them to feel obligated to sacrifice their livelihood or personal happiness to care for me as I age. Instead, I want them to live life to the fullest, understanding that caregiving is a shared responsibility.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that no one can do it alone. As the saying goes, “It takes a village.” Building a network of support—whether through family, friends, or community services—is vital for maintaining balance and ensuring caregiving doesn’t overwhelm any one person.
Let’s Make Changes in 2025
This year, I’m advocating for meaningful change—for myself, my family, and hopefully for you too. Healthy eating, seeking help when needed, and investing in our well-being are steps we can all take. What we do today sets the foundation for the next generation. Let’s not fall into the trap of quick fixes and convenience schemes.
It’s time to embrace change, live with dignity, and invest in ourselves. Let’s make 2025 a year of growth, understanding, and self-care.
Your Turn: Share Your Resolutions What changes will you make in 2025? Whether it’s improving your health, seeking better work-life balance, or embracing caregiving with renewed purpose, I’d love to hear from you. Share your resolutions in the comments or on social media to inspire others!
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